Really too late....

[lost18]

Thanks Melissa, I was wondering where you went.

I am still here, just not posting much. I agree that I am stuck. I have some better days and not as many bad days but everyday I miss my H terribly.

I have made some small moves forward to take care of myself. Not nearly enough (my IC says I'm too hard on myself).

Got back to the Doctor, refilled my prescription for my hormones & got an anti-depressant as well as something for anxiety. Honestly, that was difficult for me because I don't want to pump all this crap into my body, BUT know I had to do something to feel better.

Finally chose a color to paint the inside of my house and have been working on that. Also have built some photo ledges...new for me.

Started walking(building to running) with my friend. We committed to meeting two days a week that works with both of our schedules.

Found a photography course I'm going to sign up for. Tried to talk myself out of it because it's during the work week and it's 2 days I won't be able to sub and "what if I get a job or an interview." But am just going to do it for me!

Made an appt with my accountant to review the financials of the coffee/gift shop I am interested in buying.

I started subbing again until I can find a permanent full time job!

And of course Fantasy Football has started again!

Also, took suggestions from 25 and Mellisa: I did watch some TED talks, need to watch them again I think! And I started a "gratitude journal," this is a work in progress as I haven't been consistent with it but am trying to be.

Like I said, still a long way to go. Am not detached at all but trying to take steps to move forward.

One thing I am not doing well with is communicating with my H. I told IC about a conversation I had with H and she said he is looking to me for support and that I am missing opportunities with him. I thought she was dead wrong but my sister agreed! So, I guess I have been so careful about what I say to him, not wanting to "pursue" I'm missing out on supporting and validating him! I have had some opportunity to do that but missed others!