Wife Declares She is a Lesbian

[25yearsmlc]

I don't want to hijack, so essjay, if you'd rather me not post here, just let me know. I have my own thread, too, in the infidelity forum.

25yrs, my WW never mentioned being attracted to women before this. She expressed attraction to male actors and athletes, though. I think she would have exercised boundaries with male co-workers who came onto her, but I believe in this case, she didn't think she needed to, since the co-worker was a woman.

Okay but, without sounding abrupt, why does that matter? I mean, what I said applies to you in my opinion. In other words, a wife suddenly telling her h that she is "now" a lesbian, without ever showing signs of it before, deserves to have her words scrutinized and doubted. (The phrase "believe nothing they say and half of that they do" is tripled....)

Don't tell HER that of course!

I just have a hard time believing all her feelings for you and men in general, are gone. However, there's got to be something going on in her life AND OR the marriage that you can explore.

Find your role in this and realize that it's empowering to learn that you played role in the marital crisis, b/c it gives you some direction! It can be the focus for your efforts b/c you can only change you.

Why treat this differently than if it were an affair with a man?

I'm asking b/c I'm not sure there is a reason to, but again, I'm not sure.