Inside my chrysalis 2

[u-turn]

Thanks labug,
All of us men are not stopped in our tracks by the crime-stopping, bacon-frying, super-model. A confident, happy, good person - now that's desirable.

Just saying...

[Joe1981]

I get that. I think my wording mismatched with my intentions. The sentiment was to be her most awesome self. The woman only a fool would leave. I certainly didn't mean she should strive for some superficial external ideal...

I sincerely hope Ss06 didn't take it that way.

[Gotan74]

Keep it up hopefully you will be able to let him see what he let go. Also thanks for the support.

[Ss06]

Joe, No worries. I know you didn't mean for me to be anything but who I am when I'm at my best. Luckily for you that means I'm Super Woman with a gnarly sense of humor.

H came over precisely on time (he's usually late so this was nice) and opened some mail of his. Apparently he forgot about a fix-it ticket he got for not having proof of insurance on him which would be a $25 ticket but he forgot about it with everything going on so now he's been cited for $1600. OUCH. Not my problem so I let it go without a single word. He was grouchy after that and I noticed.

D7 was eager for him to come over all morning. She thought he was coming over at 11:00 but he came over at 11:30 (which was our agreed upon time, D7 was confused I think) so she asked why he was late. He said he wasn't late and then looked at me angrily and said, "did you tell her I was late, I'm not late!" I just said "No." and suddenly found towels to fold in another room. YIkes, I thought that was how our day was going to be. I breathed a bit and settled down.

So the beach was AWESOME! We packed up and headed out. He'd charged his car so we were able to drive in luxury. He said he felt more comfortable that way so I was happy. Plus, the beach we went to had an electric charging station so that made him happy. We had a blast perusing the tide pools, finding sand crabs, sea cucumbers, and all types of filtering sea creatures. We met family with a daughter D7's age and we exchanged emails and phone numbers (how often does THAT happen at a public beach in LA?). I caught one thing H said, "we should get together with them" which is the FIRST and ONLY statement of the future he's ever mentioned. I think he caught himself the second it was out of his mouth so I didn't say anything other than "yeah".

We laughed and joked around with our friends. He commented about how prepared I am for D7's needs (she loves fruit and I always have it on hand. I'm one of those moms who has a nectarine waiting in the wings just in case) and I commented about how contributive (a new word) he was. He brought drinks and snacks and applied sunscreen on himself without any prodding by me. Generally it was an awesome beach trip.

Our friends suggested we all hit the local Halloween store just for fun and then head out for dinner. While they were all talking about logistics I decided to give him an out if he wasn't interested. He said he was on board if I was and so off we went. We had to take a SUPER windy and dangerous road back from the beach and I've always been a terrible back seat driver with him, something he has HATED since day 1. I STFU except for one time when he was going really fast and i was terrified. I calmy stated that i was getting a bit car sick (didn't speak about his driving specifically, made it more about me) and he slowed WAY down. I didn't say another word about it after that. I'd rather barf out the door than criticize his driving again.

We had a blast at the Halloween store with everyone (H loves halloween and so does D7). At dinner everyone sat with their significant others which meant we were seated together. We had a BLAST. We laughed hysterically with each other and with others. We were both on D7 (kids were seated at a different table) about her manners and eating. I think all in all we did a great job.

We left laughing with everyone and drove home peacefully. We actually had a dance party in the car on the way home (H figured out how to mess with the inside lights of his car so they flicker like a dance club - D7 loves this when her "jam" comes on the radio). We sang and danced like fools but it was fun and the smile on D7's face was priceless. I got D7 ready for bed while he brought in things from the trunk (big change here, usually he'd leave it for "later" which meant I'd get it all later that night and deal with it) and put stuff away in the garage. He came up, put D7 to bed, commented on my new bedding, said the bed was so comfortable and "cool" as in stylish and laid there a bit. I left him to have some one on one time with D7 and started to tidy up downstairs, feed the dog, etc.

He came downstairs soon after. Here's our convo:

H: What a great day!
Me: Yeah!
H: Thanks for letting me come.
Me: Letting you? Come on. You're always welcome to stuff like that. We have a blast.
H: Yeah we do. Thank you.
Me: It was my pleasure, too.
H: So I'll see you tomorrow.
Me: Um, No. You'll pick up D7 from school but I have a thing.
H: Oh, right. Ok. See you whenever then.
Me: Yeah. Sounds good.

He leaned in for a hug (Only the second hug since BD). I hugged him well and strongly. When he leaned back I smiled big. He just looked at me for a quick second. Just a second but he either wanted to say something or he wanted to kiss me. I don't know. He opened the front door and walked out. I said, "Take care and drive carefully." He said, "Ok, I will" and smiled. I said, "It was fun today." He said, "it really was!" and that was that.


A really great day all around and if it means nothing so be it because I had a genuinely good time with D7, H and all our friends. I am so grateful.

Something I totally noticed about H. He barely said a single negative word all day. This is seriously HUUUUGE. He is the biggest pessimist and grouch on the planet. For example, it used to be that if I asked him if he had a good week and it was actually a good week he would respond, "It wasn't not bad." Seriously. He just can't bring himself to say anything positive but he was quite positive all day. In fact, we were driving through the canyon and he commented on how pretty it was - this is SO something he would NEVER say. Normally he'd comment on how dry everything looked and how brown and ugly. Not today.

I think he's really trying to be more positive, more involved with D7, more involved in the "work" of preparing to go somewhere as a family and generally being more manly (today he found it unacceptable that the beach umbrella that he put up should wobble in the wind at all and made it his personal business to assure it was firmly and solidly driven into the sand to provide shade for me and the three other ladies who were there. VERY unlike him).

I had a blast. A Genuine good time and it's all because you all reminded me to be myself, to take this opportunity to show him that I'm awesome and to remind myself that I am awesome, too.

A great start to what I hope is to be an incredible week!!!

[pilot]

awesome story ss!!! I am so happy your day went well. I know you will sleep much much better tonight. great job, and glad to see your patience and hard work at DB paid off for you today!

[Card29]

That's a great start to my week, too, Ss. Very glad to read that! Keep sticking with it.

[Joe1981]

Great job being your best self, Wonder Woman

But seriously, it sounds like you did awesome. Great PMA. You should be very proud of how you didn't let the slightly rough start put you into a tailspin. Fantastic!

Now, hopefully he'll want some more.

I see it as a potential positive that he seems to have done some work on himself.

Great job.

[LisaB]

Yay Ss! It sounds like a terrific day all around!
And it sounds like indeed your H is also taking this time to look inside himself to see what he can change to be a better H and person. A huge positive! Keep on doing what you are doing.
I'm so happy for you!
Hugs, Lisa

[Gotan74]

Good job Ss.

[Atsbaby]

Hey Ss,

I'm glad you had a wonderful day yesterday! You did awesome. Be careful. Make sure you go slow with your H.