Thanks for stopping by pbetra!
Well, W came again today. With her BFF and BFF's boyfriend. She knows that it was important that I watch the game and told me that she would be here and gone before 12:00 noon. Well, she didn't show until 1/2 way through half time! I missed all of the 3rd qrt. because she couldn't do what she said. Entitlement at it's best! To my surprise, D14 didn't even bother to come out of her bedroom to see her mother. In fact she waited until it was quiet and asked if they had left before coming out! Umm...that was odd. More than that, W again, after I tried to make sure she wouldn't, took a lot more than she said she was going to! Again! I swear she won't be satisfied until she has everything SHE wants and doesn't care a bit what is best for me. Of course to hear her, I'm just so much better off without "stuff" (take your own dam advice, woman!). She even took the flower pots from the deck! She is just ridiculous!

Of course, I was nice, kept my cool about the game and the extra stuff. I will say this, my W stayed as far away from me as possible. It was weird, it was almost like she was afraid I might actually touch her or something. She stayed at arms length. Yesterday she didn't have the deer in the headlights look in eyes that she has had almost every time I've seen her since she left, today she did. Her BFF commented to me about my making burgers yesterday while looking at my W and smiling. Umm, I wonder if W saw that as "pursuing"? It wasn't, it was just what I would do if I had a guest over. Who knows what's going on in my W's head, I sure don't and I really don't care. I think she thinks that I care much more about her or what she's doing than I really do. I will say this, she looks awful. She is STILL losing weight, she looks tired and haggard with big circles under her eyes. She hasn't seen her father in more than a week and I have noticed that the longer she is away from him, the nicer she is. Thankfully, she didn't stay any where near as long as yesterday and we got through it without her getting upset and screaming once again. (When my W started to get more things to take than we agreed to, her BFF actually called her on it! She used humor, but she gave me a look like she understood that W was pushing before she said it. Maybe W is starting to listen a little bit to people who tell her she is going too far? Naw, that can't be right!)

Well, a problem has come up with my D14. She is wanting to go back to her mom's house each day after school, to "relax and do her homework". When I told her that I was planning on picking her up from school each day and she can do her homework here, she got upset, saying she didn't want to do that. I told her that by the time she gets to her mom's (she will have to walk) I will be there to pick her up even if I left work my normal time! She said that since her school doesn't have lockers (stupid!) she has 2 sets of books...one for school, one she keeps at home for homework. That makes no sense to me. Where does she leave her "school" books if she doesn't have a locker? Why not just bring her home set of books with her for the week? When I was talking, her mother chimed in saying that she thought my D14 was fine doing this, it gives me more time if I want to stay late at work (that's HER thing, not mine. I want to be with my D, want to help her with her homework, etc.). It's like she's encouraging my D14 to see HER home as MORE of her home than mine! In fact I'm fairly sure this is what she is doing from what she is saying. I know D14 hasn't been feeling like her mothers house is "home" and I think my W doesn't like this and is telling her all the things about going to her home every day.

I don't like it. I want my D to be with ME, not at her mom's. To feel like my home (her home all of her life!) is as much her REAL home as her mothers. What she is asking just doesn't make sense except to my W and a 14 year old! I want to just tell my D that she needs to bring her books with her when she comes here and I will pick her up. It just doesn't make sense and by the time she gets to her mothers, I will be there and I'm not wanting to wait around while she does her homework. I don't want to upset her and I know her mother won't back me but I feel it's something I need to do. What do you guys think? I don't think I am overreacting or am being a pain. D14 needs to see my home as as much a home as her mothers. I think this has more to do with the fact that D14 spent the first 2 weeks of school at her mothers. I think she was so scared and she made certain habits to have stability and she wants to keep those routines. I wouldn't be surprised if soon my W will start trying to get D14 to say it's easier if she just stays there during the week during the school year! I really think this is what my W is working for. Not because my W wants her there of course. She just wants D14 to not be angry for ending the M and family and is jealous when she thinks my D is happier with me more than her. I really need to get this under control right away before it gets out of hand.

I would really like to know what you all think. If you have had to deal with this kind of thing and what you did. Thanks!