mlc rut

[pbetra]

Your H behaves like a teenager now. It’s like not wanting to live with his “mom”, but having no other means to exist, but also blaming “mom” that he is “stuck” with her. Poor boy… Not! I would ask him to contribute to the bills. If he says that he has no money, ask him what he thinks the solution should be then. I’m curious what answer he comes up with. Will he say that he expects you to cover for him?

Thanks BF for the explanation ("mom") - very clear. The 'teen' is asleep now having come back from 'the event'. Came in, changed, drank something and passed out. A real teenager! Unbelievable. As for your suggestion - will approach him this way - & keep it 'light & casual' Thx u .

It's great that you're working now - it does make a huge difference.

It must be very hard to live with the MLCer who openly has this much disdain for you and blaming you for his misfortunes. Yup! And h comes from a family of 'blamers' ... even without MLC! Always external blame & criticism. Self esteem issues at the core.

he just didn't come home from his work in another state. This is probably why I think that he was not that bad. But, I don’t know that for sure. He is such an actor and can hide his feelings pretty well.

Wow - that must have been rough, a 'no show'! I agree with you though - I do think that they are great at acting, hiding their feelings. I don't know if its b/c they just don't care, don't have much of a conscience re LBS. With h it's like a switch for the role he wishes to play.

You're working now BF. Get back to you GAL efforts. This MLC stuff is rough on us - we exist within a certain continuum of expectations & predictability with our spouse. It's the 'beat' of life. Our mindset is set up for it - then out of nowhere, the bomb interrupts the continuum, breaks the surface tension - all without warning! It's no wonder we feel like this.

Get back to GAL - It really does help! i hope that you can break th edepression to get the inertia going. Beginning is tough, I know ... i 'say'/type the words but we all know it's challenging.
Take care, pb