Hi pilot, I find this all interesting. It relates to my situation as well. On the one hand we want to set boundaries, not pursue and show that we are good on our own and don't have to cling to the WAS. On the other hand if we do NC, act like we've moved on and maybe even are seen with another person... is it too much?
Maybe the WAS will not like it if you do NC. Maybe the WAS will get upset or jealous when they see you with someone else. But if they feel hopeless about trying to win you back, and embarrassed about their mistakes and behavior, and have low self esteem and etc etc then maybe the NC and moving on is a bit too much.
What is the place of balance between pursuing and NC? I'm guessing it is something unpredictable and random. In other words no contact interspersed with some kind of sign showing you could be open to reconciliation. I have no idea what that would be. Maybe something with their love language? What is your W's LL? A little raft of hope that they could cling on to or choose to ignore.
Good luck pilot. I'm interested to see what you decide to do going forward. Though I have been here only a short time compared to you I think we often have some similarities in where we stand.
