The Waiting One (and tired of it)

[Atsbaby]

Thank you Shining! We seem to cycle similarly, I know you were pretty bummed last week and seem to be better now. I will be better, and I really try not to give OW my energy. Now that she has a face, which is my fault for finding out, I struggle because it makes it more real. I'm just fearful that Clark won't come out of this. I know I don't need him, but I just feel we are to be together (I don't know, it's hard to explain, but I feel like God is still behind me 100%). Anyways, moving on....

I'm doing so much better than I was this morning, thank God!

I got my sh!t together and got my hair trimmed. It really didn't help emotionally, but I knew I looked better

I had plans to learn to tango and east coast swing dance this afternoon. I had a lot of fun. Not many people showed up, but it was still nice to get out. The instructor was very encouraging which built up myself esteem. She asked if I had ever danced before since I was doing so well. I told her when I was little I had done tap and ballet and then danced on the high school team...jazz/hip hop.

I totally get the old man creepy looks that someone on here was talking about...lol. He wasn't creepy per se, but his staring was! We had to rotate partners multiple times and I just felt uncomfortable with this guy. Of course, it could also be because I haven't been with anyone except my H in such close quarters! Well that is probably true with the other old guy that was there. They were nice gentlemen though.

So I've decided I have a new goal in life...I want to compete in dance competitions! I forgot how much I love dancing. Partner dancing is different, but I still love the moving and the way it makes me feel...sexy

Goals: PMA...check for now!
Be assertive...still working on.
Find time for dancing...he!! yeah!