I understand you don't want the kids caught in the crossfire. I acted with that in mind when I went through my divorce with my first wife. I suffered for it financially, but the kids turned out ok 11 years later.

I agree that the most fair thing is what mdu suggested, but your W may not have any understanding of what's fair. You could tell her that you can no longer afford the nanny and say you're working on trying to find alternatives. Then see if she suggests pitching in. If it's her suggestion then at least she won't be fighting it out of spite.

Last edited by PeterV2; 09/07/14 08:29 PM.
M: 59 W: 53
M: 9 yrs
T: 14 yrs
No kids together but D30(hers), S27, S24, D21(all 3 mine)
W moved out 11/18/2013
D-Day 12/14/2013
W moved back home 12/1/2014