Ss06, I feel the same as Smurf_SMR describes in his thread. Some days I feel good and think that I don’t have depression, that it is all gone. Then there are some days when I fight with it. Not exactly “fight”, but trying to push the feelings away, to find excuses to give up and not do anything. No, I’m not on ADs, and I don’t have IC. I know a lot of people here suggest ADs to manage the depression and help them to get through this whole thing. I will be a very hard sell on this. I prefer not to take any medication. I prefer a glass (or more) of wine, that helps me to relax.
I also don’t believe in IC, for me personally. I had some disappointing experience in the past, it didn’t help me at all. I already knew what the IC was going to say. I think I knew most of the answers, I just needed the support and encouragement, but I didn’t get it. I tried a couple of life coaches too, but nothing worked for me the way I expected. Maybe I have too much expectations... I also don’t like when people give me arbitrary solutions. I feel so much resistance when my friends or family tell me that what I’m doing is wrong, that I’m fooling myself, that I need to do such and such things instead.
The reason I come to this board is that I get the support I need without the judgment. And people still listen, even after 2 years (actually 1.5 years since I joined this forum.) My friends and family have given up on me and don’t want to hear about the sitch anymore.
Busting, it is good to know that eventually these feelings will pass. I know I’m still grieving. It just seems to go for awfully too long, past 2 years already. I prefer talking on this board, even though it is difficult some times. I get discouraged from posting, because sometimes I don’t get any feedback for some time and feel like I’m talking to myself. I can do it in my head. I know that I’m not very exciting poster and I there is barely anything goes on in my sitch. So, I just read other posts and learn from them. But, it becomes lonely after a while.
Pbetra, thanks for the link. I will check it out. I used to do yoga every Sunday. I stopped doing it for a few months, just could not make myself go. I went last weekend, finally. I hope I can make it regular again. I also do daily meditations, I think this keeps me afloat. You are fairly new in this. I know 2 years seems like a long time for you right now. Not so much for me. Like I said it feels like a groundhog day every day. Sometimes it feels like BD was just yesterday, just without that devastation and disbelieve that came all over me at that time. It is just sad now.
I will try to catch up on everybody’s thread. I just feel that I have no advice to give at this time, but I've been reading along.
M:50 H:52 S28 (my S from previous marriage) M:17 + 3 BD: 06/12 S: 06/12 - H works in another state
