The Waiting One (and tired of it)

[Atsbaby]

Thanks 2B.

I'm really struggling today. I had all these plans to spend the evening with my kids, but they wanted to spend the night at a friends house. I accidentally made D upset. I know they want to play and be with their friends, but it seems like it's my time with them that gets taken away. I apologized to D because she was now torn about being with her friends or with me.

I'm so lonely. All my friends are far away and I have no one to just call up and hang out with. Clark was my best friend and now I don't have that either. I'm cycling bad into this depression and I hate it. This is not me. I've always been a happy person. I've always known where I was headed and now I don't.

Clark just stopped back by the house. The kids were happy because he bought more of their love. So I get into a funk. Then D tells me they are going to see a movie, but S has team pics today, so this means they won't be home until late. I won't get to spend any time with them, once again. As they are walking out the door, Clark says that I could be nice to him. I just can't seem to muster this up. He is f***ing dating some wh@re while we are MARRIED!

I hate the person Clark has become. I just HATE him!! He is ruining my life and my plans. This is not what my life is supposed to be like. I'm supposed to be happily married with two beautiful kids, a great job and plans for the future with superman.