Good morning, Georgia. Boy, It's amazing how much everyone here's stories and feelings match. The details are all different, but the scenarios are very much the same. It sounds to me like you are processing the fact that you now realize that it's right and truly over. The end of your M and the life you had, all the plans for the future for yourself and your kids is done. It's a weird feeling, I know. Part of you is glad it's over and you can move on. Part of you is (still) sad, still cannot understand how things changed so much so fast.
Last night, after spending most of the day with my STBXW and D14, I started thinking about how, some day in the not too distant future, I'll be a grand father. I thought about how different that is going to be now that my W has D'd me. Every event will have some kind of oddness. D's will get married some day and instead of sharing something as wonderful as that as a family, there will be awkwardness... will W be remarried by then? Will I be? How will D's feel about things like my W bringing an OP? Will any OP that she brings into my D's lives be kind and caring? No funny stories about mom and dad' marriage as it will be a subject that makes everyone feel odd. It all just seems so un-nessicerry, so wrong. These are the kind of things that will always be there, always be effected by the crazy actions and choices that our S's are making now.
You have used this sitch to make yourself a better person. You have risen above the pain and despair. You are a darn good person, Georgia. You are also someone that has been tested hard by life and you are coming out passing with flying colors! Keep laughing, keep that "warped" sense of humor (I have one as well and love other people who share that). The fact that all of us here have worked so hard to not only try and keep our M's but to make sure that all of those affected by the craziness come out OK like the kids, show that we are decent, caring people. We still care about our S's even after all they have done to destroy the things we held most dear. We care about our kids and how they will get through all of this. Contrast that to the MLCers who can't seem to care about anyone BUT themselves. To the people who would have reacted to the pain caused by our S's with hatred and acting out of their own and you see that we are all good, decent people who have had something horrible thrust on us and we are dealing better than most would!
Enjoy the first Sunday of football season. Now if I could only find a way to watch my Eagles down here in Cowboy country......
