Hi pbetra, Sounds like you are having a tuff time, I'm sorry. I know how hard it is when the MLCer is still at home.. My W became very depressed about 7-8 years ago. She became so bad that she acted much like MLCers act, the difference being that she always felt badly and "made up" with me later. In other words, she recognized that she was acting out, blaming the wrong thing for her bad feelings. But there were times when it would be months where she "acted out". She wasn't working as she had been a stay at home mother for many years while the kids were home. At that time the kids were now in school and she could have gone back to work (as we had always planned) but she was too "sick" to do so.
During these times I felt ready to just quit (not always but a person can only take so much). But I knew she wouldn't be able to care for herself. That she didn't have a job or income and I couldn't leave her like that. It went against everything I always stood for, who I was as a person. I have NEVER regretted this, even now that my W has left me when I needed her income more than I ever have in the 21 years we were married (really the only time) and filed for D. She left me with no money (actually a negative balance in checking account), didn't care a bit about what she was doing to her D's or me (still doesn't). Still, I know that I did the right thing by not just leaving her on her own back then.
All I'm saying is be careful that you don't loose yourself and your values in reaction to what your H is doing. There may come a point where the right thing for you to do is just go and leave him to take care of himself. Make sure that you have truly reached that point before you do something that you may regret later. Believe me, I just had a bout with thinking that maybe I should be "playing hardball" with my W (had some people I work with tell me that is what I should be doing and for a moment I started to question myself) so I get where you are at right now. Just be sure that you don't do something you may look back on and wish you hadn't!
Hang in there. I hate to see you hurting so much. I understand how hard GALing is when low on funds...I'm in that spot right now myself, but try and find some things to do to get out and be with other people, away from H's craziness even for just a bit. It will really help.
