essjay, listen to 25yearsmlc. She knows her stuff. She can see through your BS, so be ready to be hit by a few 2x4s when you're lying to yourself.

Ignore the bigot and allow this amazing community to help you. A bunch of fantastic people here. Can't think of any reason 25yearsmlc would bother reading and posting on here 6 years after fixing her marriage other than she really wants to help people. Many others in that boat, and while they can at times seem harsh, they are here to help. If they don't help you save your marriage, they'll help you become a better man.

Hang in there.

Me: 34 W:33
T: 10 M: 6
S: 6 D: 5
BD: 5/14
Still together(ish)
Not giving up: 7/14
D talk has slowed, a lot.
Gradually working on things together. Still separate bedrooms.
Slow and Steady wins the race.