This morning W came to from the medicine they had her on to bring her back. First thing she did was text a few people...I know because I saw the history on a duplicate device real time. She said to my sister she was heartbroken because she had lost OM and could never take me back. She also said she thought I was trying to take the kids away from her.
It gets scarier. My kids were supposed to go to a wedding with W. W told MIl to pick the up and take them. I didn't trust the situation. Didn't know if MIl was under instructions to not bring the kids home. Day 1 as sole party realonsible for kids during a crisis, I wasn't letting them leave my side. I said so and said I'd bring them. They said I wasn't invited. Things escalated to the point my W made veiled threats about how she had things she could do to get the kids. Very scary talk. Finally we deescalated and I took kids with MIL and we had a great time.
Now I talk to W and she is calm. Said she is fine now and just wants to be home with the kids. Says she is getting the help she has needed for a long time with some different meds and councling. Said she knows she needs to do what I did and start taking care of herself and growing stronger. And she says she has reconnected with some healthier friends that will take turns watching the kids so she can have some adult time. She says we're just friends, that's all.
I don't know what to believe. She was so crazy yesterday and over the past few months I don't believe she's all right. I don't believe she is ready to take care of herself and don't trust her. She's saying some of the right things but it seems I have two options: 1) trust her and see her make destructive decisions and expose the kids to harm, or 2) tell her I don't trust her and am going to take at least temporary control of the kids which could start a war.
I'm so confused and scared of doing the wrong thing. I can't think clearly because I want to believe she will be ok. And after the last week of her telling me she missed the M and me, even though I know she was using me for comfort it rocked my boat and I am no longer detached and find myself wishing she would snap out of the fog and start thinking about rebuilding.
I will meet with my L, DB coach, and IC. That's not until Monday at least. Sorry to be an attention sponge, but can anyone from outside of this mess see clearly what the truth is? 2x4? I'm trying so hard.
Me:38 XW:38 T:11 years M:8 years Kids: S14, D11, D7 BD/Move out day: 6/17/14, D final Dec 15
