Thanks AJ and T2, Well, W came over at about 2:00 PM. She just left 20 min.'s ago.(that means that she was here over 7 hours!) I had ALL her books out in the living room and ready for her to "go thru". She starts doing that as I settle in with my D14. I was very nice, upbeat, friendly. W takes A LOT of time doing the books, seems to be feeling me out. Then comes what I expected...she just drops that she is coming by tomorrow with her BFF and BFF's boyfriend (who have a truck). Well, what does she need a truck for?, I ask. She says that she wanted to take the kitchen table (which I expected. Her grand father made it and we have an old one that we bought when we first got married that I can use). OK, so now I KNOW that she is wanting something else! So, a little later she says "I would like to take the book shelf, too". OK, this bothers me. With that, she has now taken EVERY good piece of furniture we owned! All the antiques and all the best and newest pieces! And the D isn't even final! I let her know that I don't like it, that it's something I really wanted myself but she keeps calm and actually speaks to me without losing her cool and running around screaming. She calmly made a case for why she WANTS it (didn't say how she's "entitled" to it), how I have a couple other, nice book shelves, etc. I actually would have liked to keep it but, as I've said before, I'm not really concerned about the "stuff". I decided that since she ASKED and didn't DEMAND, I told her that she could have it.
She also went through and took some of her clothes that I have wanted her to take since it takes up most of my bedroom closet! Went through her kitchen stuff and actually was decent about what she took (more than she should have but nothing I really cared much about). She than said that we need to make plans to take a day and go through all the remaining things we have from 26 years together and decide what we want and what we will give to Good Will, who gets what, etc. All this time we were talking and she was being a lot like the old her (although a bit tense and talking mostly about herself and her "new" home). As it got later I asked if she wanted a burger as I was going to grill some for D14 and myself. She accepted and we ate together.
I helped her pack her car and when it started to rain, she came back in and killed time going through a bunch of socks that came out of the wash without a mate and gloves that did the same and paired a bunch all while sitting on the floor while my D14 and I watched some TV and talked to each other and my W. This was the most decent time we have spent together since she left. Of course, if I had tried to tell her not to take the book shelf or any of the things that she did, I'm pretty sure it wouldn't have gone so well. I really don't like that she TOLD me she was coming again tomorrow, didn't ask if it was a good time for me (it really isn't what I had planned on doing). She didn't just come to go through her books like she said she was AND some things have come up with my D14 that I will talk about in another post that I really don't like but my W is putting her up to doing. But, all in all, it wasn't that bad. I was relaxed, I didn't let her get to me (there were a few times that she did bait me but I didn't bite) and she was nicer than she has been in a long time (although like I said, she did get her way so who knows what would have happened if I had said no to her taking something she wants). I just hope that things go as well tomorrow. I tried to make sure it will (as much as that is possible with MLCer) by asking more than once EXACTLY what she planned on taking. As long as that stays the case It shouldn't be too bad.
Now if only things with my D14 were going near as well. That's for another post!
