For all the encouragement, it's amazing how one day of nothing contact wise can play with your mind. I have the girls this weekend, and she is all alone. But the only thing I can think is that she isn't alone, and is probably of ways to get me out of her life, or spending it with somebody else.
These are the days where you have to keep pushing all the bad things out of your mind. Keep thinking that no matter what I am not giving up. There is always a slight chance, that she is thinking about me, and what it would be like to come back. She could be weighing her options, or she could just be keeping herself busy. I might never know exactly what's going through her mind.
I think the biggest reason for negativity, are some of the things she still says and doesn't say. We try not to read into things, but it's so hard to not go over both sides. Once both sides come up, the only thing that sticks are the bad things, OM, not being honest, being manipulative, really anything. I am still trying to think of the good though. Bad news today too, I have an Aunt that may not make it much more than the next few days. I know that plays into it, I've lost quite a few family members in the last year. And death is not something I deal with well, but I am trying to figure out ways to be better!!
