3 months after BD, the roller coaster ride hurts

[Card29]

One bad event won't single-handedly ruin the progress you may have made with him. Now his alcoholism, that is a different story. Hopefully that does not start a trend. I know it's easy for me to say, a guy reading your story through an anonymous message board, but don't let his drunken rant stick with you too much. I'd be more concerned about the drinking that what he actually said. You know he is still full of pain, you know it is going to take months, maybe even a couple of years, to work through that pain (that is IF you are both on board and are following the correct path the entire time). So don't be surprised when it rears its ugly head from time to time.

Keep detaching, GAL and working on yourself. I know you've probably seen and heard this a million times already, but that's because it's the best advice you can take. You can't fix him, you can only support him. And the best way to support him is if you are the best YOU that you can be - happy, independent, strong and full of love for him. Detachment is also the best way to preserve the love you have for him while he is in this place. If you try to drag him through his fog yourself, you will end up resentful and out of love for him.

Keep posting! We hear you.