Maybell XI

[KGirl]

Maybell - I feel like I understand how you feel today (as evidenced by my own post)... it can be so much easier if you just don't have to interact with them or hear about them at all. Out of sight, out of mind. It's hard to love or stay "in love" with someone given these sorts of circumstances.. it's probably healthy that at some point we don't really feel that in the same way anymore (otherwise we'd be stuck loving someone years after D and that's not good either!). I do think sometimes about how much it's really worth it to be in limbo. Our situations are a bit different given you have kids but I do ponder how things would change if we did D and get everything settled and then we would not have to ever talk to each other again.

I was also thinking about your prev. post about letting go and standing and what that means. For me, at least, it means that I'm just living my own life and letting H live his, while being open to the possibility of R. Whereas not standing would look more like "screw you! You don't want to be here? Fine, I'm divorcing you." Or doing something antogonistic or petty or mean that would be very difficult to overcome (post something on facebook about what a cheater and a liar he is, tell him to F-off and never talk to me again, etc.). Basically moving on with your own life but keeping the road home paved and smooth in case they do ever reconsider. I hope that makes sense. I just got back from a college football game so the sun and drinks get to me a little