It's just that sometimes, when things just don't change, only seem to get worse, even things that you never would thought you would do or think start to make sense.
And that, Matt, is why I strongly suggest you make up your mind about your actions and what you are going to look back and see. That, and this
Quote:
can you imagine how an MLCer must feel once they leave the tunnel and actually see the damage they have caused? Kind of gives one a taste of why it is hard for them to deal with the guilt. The amount of shame that they feel must be incredible!
If you were nuts, you wouldn't care. If you were so scared or otherwise impaired, you wouldn't care. But you are not. You have the honor of being sane and taking care of your children. Of showing them how to live a life worth living. How to forgive. How to be a decent human being.
There are times when that is thankless. That doesn't make it any less important. It makes it a point in time and nothing more.
Want to help yourself? Think beyond yourself. Think about how this all affects your children. Think how you can help them.
You? You'll be more than fine. Your children? They need help to be fine.
Do whatever you have to do to keep the kids out of it. I've made the mistake of allowing my ex to drag me into conversations that the kids heard. Years later that still comes up with the kids. My action since? My ex's H drags my daughter into email conversations she shouldn't be part of. I don't participate in the conversations. Period. I don't participate in conversations with my ex. Period. I don't try to "get back" at her or him. I don't try to defend anything.
It's one way I can help my kids deal with all of this. There were times I'd like to do more and be offensive. But I know that would not be helpful to them. I don't need to respond to anger or crazy. My ex has that market cornered enough for all concerned
It can make you crazy, Matt if you forget what you're about. But if you make up your mind what you're going to do, things will be a LOT better for you and the kids.
Later, your kids may thank you. And your boss and co-worker? They may ask for advice. For now, it's your road to walk and you need to decide how you'll walk it and what you want to see when you look back so you're not tempted to take others' advice. Even mine
Peace brother, AJ
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" MLK Put the glass down... "Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."
