Maybell XI

[Sam3]

Maybell -
I have been following your stitch almost nightly. I'm not sure if anything has changed much in the past few days but a couple of nights ago you were discussing standing or not standing. I just got a chance to get on my desktop and,
I had a screen shot of this post saved on my phone to remind myself.

Actually all of the posts on that thread are filled with wisdom that we can all learn from. I am no vet, and feel like I get this DB thing wrong all.the.time But, this helped me and maybe it will help you too.



: Melissag XII - getting divorced [Re: 2ndTimeHurt]
mustardseed Offline
Member

Registered: 10/31/13
Posts: 152


I think that rather than getting rid of hope, perhaps you should just replace it with faith. Hope keeps you focused on the fantasy you want, faith allows you know that things will work out in the way that will be best--even though you can't know what that is right now. I found that being hopeful often meant lying to myself about what was really happening in an effort to make things be how I wanted them to be. Having faith, however, allowed me to let go of my ideal situation and as a result made detaching feel freeing.

Think of it right now as a road trip. He decided to go a different way, and for the past few months--even though you hated the route he chose you continued to follow him. That road never felt right to you, and even though you were following him down that road you were still alone in that journey. He was speeding along in one car while you were desperately following in your own hoping to catch up and share the ride again. In that car you could play your own music, have the temperature the way you wanted it, drive a speed you were comfortable with (all of you GALs), but you were still following his road, not yours.

Now he told you he doesn't want you to follow him anymore. That doesn't mean you won't end up in the same place later on. It means, take a path that feels more comfortable to you. Take a path that will make you feel better about being alone in that car. When you take this turn, have faith that you will be satisfied with where you end up. Then let go of the destination and enjoy the ride. Let his choices play out for him however they will and don't be concerned with it. Now it is time to do what you need to do.