Maybell XI

[pilot]

Is it possible to avoid talking to him anymore? S6 wanted to talk to him today. When he was done he handed me the phone and I had to talk to H. He's out seeing the sights. Didn't ask if things are ok here or anything.

Yea, it is possible. Just stop. Once your kids are done talking, just hang up. When my W and I have to let the other facetime, I started off not saying a word, or even being in the video. After a month or so, my W would start putting herself in the video when I was talking to the kids. I am going back to the no talking bit at this point. Try it out.

I know not to expect this but it HURTS to be so utterly disregarded. He doesn't care at all about dumping this all on me and going off to have fun in a city I'd like to visit. And yes, I know he's having fun, he's off sight-seeing, he told me what he was doing.

I know it hurts. It hurts really bad. But that is why we detach and GAL. Detaching takes the sting away from knowing they are off doing something without us. GAL makes it easier to detach, as we begin to have our own things we are doing and are concerned about, leaving less time for us to think about what our spouses are doing.

I am struggling not to hate him and beginning to lose the fight. But then again, I'm crying... So obviously I'm hurt and disappointed as well. Is it so much to ask that my HUSBAND should at least appreciate everything I'm doing here? I think I am starting to hate him. He is so selfish.

You cannot think of his as your Husband right now. He is not. He is really not even a friend to you right now. And of course everything he is doing is selfish. It is how they are during this. There are things my W does which if I saw a stranger do, I would never give that stranger the time of day. But...she is not a stranger, and nor is your H a stranger to you. So here we are...

I tried a ALL the 5LL on him during the beg&plead period and for a long time before. He told me none of it was important because HE didn't need people to feed him. Nothing I do touches him. So why do I try?

Remember, believe none of what you hear.

I believe his saying he wanted to spend time with me was just a selfish ploy to make him feel better and nothing at all to do with caring about me. Which HURTS.

No you are mind reading and the conclusion you came to is what hurts. Why not approach it as a positive, even if only a small one. Then it does not hurt, it feels good.

How do I harden my heart against him? I do not want to live like this any longer.

Detach and GAL. I know it is such an easy thing to say, but harder to do. However, it really does help.

I deserve to be loved by a partner who thinks I'm worth getting excited about. I AM worth getting excited about. Eight friends yesterday made me feel cared for. He is not right about me. I am worthy of love and care.

You do, and you will again. When you are ready. Maybe it will be with H, maybe someone else, but it will come.

Keep at it!