I'll Take What's Behind Door Number 3 #8

[Georgiabelle]

Thanks Wonka. We've been married for almost 12 years and at least he's employed now. Warning. After yesterday's good mood I'm going to vent.

I used to wonder how people could despise the person they were married to and had kids with. I understand now. I don't despise S. I wish he and his Billy Joel look a like gf would move to Mars. They have some type of life there right? I am very very angry right now that he left me with this old house with unfinished projects and a while bunch of $h!t I the yard. The house was shown last night and the feedback was that it needs work. No f$&king duh! It looks fantabulous compared to what it did. Graciously,S's parents paid for many of the repairs but there is so much junk to sort thru before a yard sale. There is a boat in the back yard. Never used. It's a junky boat but S wanted it just on case. Mmmm. Guess who gets to figure out how to move that? Correct. It's not h.

There is $h!t every f$@king where. Junk. I am grateful to have a good job. My kids go to school 30 minutes past my house so the commute home to get them and back home is 2 hours. I'm glad he shows up a few days a week to take them to school. I'm not giving him an award for spending 6 hours a week with his kids. He texted me this am to *plan* his week. Is that bad? I don't give a fig.

I really commend people who can see the good in their spouse right now. Theonly thing good I see is that he's gone and that gratefully I'm not him. I'm not sounding very compassionate right now.

I want to love and trust again. I do. It may be 20 years from now. I am unfortunately very resentful at this moment that I bought his clothes, told a$$ candle to take naps, etc. I knew he struggled with life in general with his mental illness. No, I'll wash the clothes. I'll clean the house. I'll pay the bills. I'll take the kids away for the weekend. Yes, I know it's stressful taking the kids to school. And this a$&hat had the audacity to say I did t support him and I doubted he would come through. Well guess what? He didn't come through except to leave when he got a job and go live like a child.

I'm sorry if my bleeped out language offended anyone. I don't want to be angry, resentful or spiteful. This will pass.

That was somewhat cathartic. Thanks for letting me vent