Igit newbie needs help part 3

[pilot]

Pilot, w is following me around like a lost dog. I am not really in a mood to deal with her rt now. I am looking for your input. Whether she realizes it or not she has put me in a place where she has her L ask for all this L stuff a good L will do for there client. We have been getting along well for last month as far as roommates are concerned. I feel like a whipped dog but have stepped up big time for kids and her w new job. After my L meeting yesterday I hAve changed my strategy. I was friendly yesterday and last night but did let her know about lawsuit she filed.today I have been distant. She has called me wanting to talk, I got home she wants to talk, she takes D12 to vball.and calls and wants to talk. I answered her 3rd call, she asked me what I am doing, I told her going to my office to deal with D paperwork. She asked if we could talk, I said not now, I wasn't in the mood and didn't want to get angry. She said she wants to talk. I honestly don't know what good will come from a talk rt now. I want her to feel the impact of what she has done. It's hard to go dark with kids but I need to stay as distant as I can for now. In reality she will not hear or get anything from my response for 2weeks. I don't want her to get impression that I am angry, but as far as helping her with any of her responsibilities I am going to ask for a schedule w kids I will drop them off in am as I have committed to, however I am not going to pick them up for her, I am needing to treat this like I am already D. Any thoughts on this. She knows how I feel about a D and knows the effort I have put in. But it takes 2 to tango and frankly she doesn't want to dance. I don't want to talk at this point I just don't see any good coming from it. Yesterday when I mentioned the items listed in summons she wanted to talk about. I told her you and only you can stop this and left room. I will talk to her about anything and be pleasant. I just don't think talk about th I s is rt move until after I respond to summons

igit, I am with you on this one. Your W following you around like a puppy could mean many things, so try not to figure it out. She could be feeling guilty about hurting you, she could be feeling guilty about doing this, she could just be testing the waters to see how you will react in your filing. From what you have said about your W, I think she is much like mine in that she really does not understand that a D is a lawsuit, and an adversarial one at that. She probably thinks you file D and then things are all hunky dory. When in reality it takes 2 people (especially when L are involved and forces them to duke it out when it is a contested divorce)

I applaud you for ducking your Ws request to talk. She is probably getting nervous/questioning herself as to why you will not answer. Your reply is a big unknown to her and she wants to know.

As for picking up your kids after school if she cannot, be careful. Remember, they are kids. They do not need to be pawns in this adult business. They need to always be taken care of. Now, having said that, I am in the same shoes where once my wife starts working, she will not be able to pick up my oldest as he gets out of school at 3 and the assumption is she will be working a 9-5 job. She will want me to pay for an aftercare, and I will refuse. I already pay an aftercare for S3. I will offer to pick up S5, but I will be very clear that IF I pick him up, he will come home with me. I will not waste 2-3 hours a day hanging around her town (an hour from me) waiting for her to get off work. Or she can pay for aftercare herself. I am tired of insulating her from the harsh realities of the world. And you should not do that for your W either. IF your W wants to be out in the world on her own, let the world have its way with her. If she makes it, good for her. If not, well, maybe she will appreciate what you had done for her in the past.