Trying Again

[topgunmb]

Ugh. I don't even know what to do anymore. Things have just gotten progressively worse. W comes up on Tuesdays, Thursdays, and the weekends to see the kids. She no longer has a place that she can take them so they spend most of their time here. Lately, she barely even looks at me when she walks in, only speaks to me when she has to, and spends most of her time talking only to the kids. There are times where it's blatantly obvious that she's avoiding looking at me. Just a few months ago, it seemed like we were starting to be at least friends again. We were finally starting to talk about things other than just the kids, she was asking if I needed things from the store, we were planning birthday parties for the kids together, spending time together after the kids went to bed on the weekend, and she was even letting me rub her feet. Now, it's ice queen city. I don't know what changed other than I have been on hiatus for 3 months now, which means no work for that period of time.

Most of the time, I do my best to not be here when she's here, but the times that I am here, I might as well not be for all she cares. But beyond that, it just feels disrespectful and a little childish on her part. She's coming in to my home and treating me in a way that makes me feel uncomfortable to be here. Despite my best efforts to have a PMA in front of her, I'm dying inside.

Any advice on what to do? Part of me wants to convey to how I feel about her coming into my home and treating me so poorly, but I'm sure that's mostly an emotional response. I don't know if things will improve once I'm back to work or if it's that there's someone new in her life (I have absolutely no proof of this so that's just mind reading), but it's once again ripping my heart out after having that period of time this year where it seemed like there might be some hope.