Cadet speaks the truth. Let her go. Give up on trying to get her into counseling. She's at the point where she really needs to see this through. You or anyone else trying to convince her otherwise is only going to solidify her resolve.
There can still be hope for your marriage, but you must figure out how to make the situation as it is work for you.
M: A really long time. Crisis: 5 years. She's still worth it.
Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose. -Viktor Frankl
