advice needed - please help

[PeterV2]

Stacey, just read your thread.
Tough stuff. You'll be getting good advice here from all the posters.
Definitely read DR. I recommend it more than DB. Especially read the section entitled "when s/he won't end the affair". I found that section absolutely critical to my sanity and approach.
I too thought it was over. I even had and apt with the D L in January, but cancelled it when W came over one day and indicated a desire to fix things. Although it wasn't a week later she was back with OM.
So you see it's a real rollercoaster. Strap yourself in for the ride. You'll have good days and bad days.
Try not to think about OW and what H is doing. He is going through a MLC. He will lie and rewrite your history to justify his actions. Just ignore those word when they come out of his mouth. I know it really hurts, but realize he's f**ked in the head right now and it will take time for him to wake up. In the meantime take care of yourself. Sounds like you're doing good with the running and gardening. You may want to try to do that home reno project yourself or with a girlfriend or your kids. Don't lure him into doing it. When he sees you doing it he'll become curious.
Mystery and curiosity are your allies right now.
Remember, affairs don't last. It may be another 6 months or a year but soon enough it'll run its course. You need to be patient and work on yourself.