W has been texting the usual stuff: How a parents meeting at school turned out, that D7 would like a day alone with her so D5 has to come here someday alone and that D7 is so sad about karate – it seems like these things will continue. I don’t know if W is plain informing me or if she is trying to guilt me into reconsidering my decision…and to be honest I simply don’t care! I made the right decision for now in these regards.
I feel the rope loosening, I find my thoughts drifting less and less towards W, I have found my motivation at work and my partners have expressed how pleased they are with me at the moment. I feels like order is coming out of the chaos I have been through. I feel good and I feel aware. It is a strange feeling and hard to explain. I see things in new perspectives and I feel more alive than I have done in many years and it shines through in my daily interactions with other people…it feels good!
I am still texting with this new woman. She will visit me on Monday and although I am scared sh!tless I also look very much forward to this. I hope we will have a nice afternoon and evening.
I have changed my reading patterns. His needs, her needs is back on the shelf. I am now reading about attraction and sex. One of the issues W and I had was sex and WHEN I find myself naked with a woman (W or not) at some point in the future – I want to do better! His needs her needs will not be forgotten!
Sunday I have my first 110 km bikeride and look forward to that as well.
I still struggle with workissues. I wonder if I should change my career and my look on workissues….but for now I will leave it be. I am fine and I will be even better!
Me:44 W:43 D7, D5 (S11 from other R)
T: 8y - not M ILYB: 8. Mar 2013 W moved: 1. Aug 2013 LRT: 20. Aug 2013 _______________________________ Do or do not – there’s no try.
