WAW, she had an affair, separating to "think"

[Card29]

I'd be interested in vets' takes on filing for D with the end goal still being to reconcile the M. Are you planning on dating during this period? If you would not even entertain the idea, even if you're not pursuing it, I would just go with a strict no-contact separation. Even if she calls you and says she's having a bad day and would like someone to talk to, if she's in a R with OM, or still pursuing one, then I wouldn't talk.

If she really needs space to figure things out, I'm not sure pressuring her with D paperwork is going to put you guys in the best position. But I also obviously don't think her sleeping around is the best thing for your M, either. But, again, I'd love to hear a vet's take on this sitch.

I'd still primarily focus on detachment. Detach and read as much as you can on this, post here frequently. Your head will clear up very quickly. Then don't get discouraged when you have a backslide. Just fight back to detachment again.