Heather, you have some very exciting and new things ahead. You are going to be even more wonderful than you are today. But I get the shock of feeling sadness you thought was long over.
You posted a few back, something about the realization of "giving up the dream" since you're leaving all you've known for years. It is a dream that didn't turn out as you originally wanted. I'm sure Smokey didn't want to be where he is now either, but who cares right now. Your feelings of pain and sadness are a testament to your deep love for your family, and your old H, and all you gave to them. It's no surprise to me that through this transition, many of those feelings of loss will resurface for a short time.
I'm dreading the closing on our house in the next weeks for the same reason. Signing those papers will feel like a D for me. Not sure how I'll get through it and be able to DB while sitting across the table from the person who ripped our dreams from us.
It can be overwhelming, the changes. I'm deep in a sea of change, too. It's not what we wanted. But it's probably going to be better than we imagined.
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