My answer was directed at your idea of filing for D in order to get unstuck. My advice is not to file for a D to break the cycle. I would drop the rope before deciding to go straight to D.
When I read back over my post, I could see it might not be clear what I was saying. And I saw a typo, which should have said I do NOT recommend going completely dark b/c of the children. But dropping the rope could work. It is better than divorce.
25yrs and I usually agree about most things. I think we each give advice from the perspective of our own personal experiences or what we've observed in others (as most people do). Being a WAW, I may be less tolerant toward the WAS.......? IDK, I am not trying to speak for her. Just bear in mind that we come from opposite sides of the fence in our own stitches, and realize there may be variation in what we say...or how it's said.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
