So while she is saying "see, your demanding me to show you my texts, not text certain people, etc. shows that you are controlling" does follow the WAW/H playback, it is actually a concern of my W from before the A.
I get that. But her decision to have an affair created a reasonable expectation from her husband (that she be transparent with you as part of any no-contact/reconciliation plan) supercedes that. Once trust is re-established, this burden can be lifted but for now her cries of "Controlling!" aren't enough, in my view.
It's a button of yours that she has learned how to push, especially recently, and she KNOWS it will get you to back down from even very reasonable requests.
