Wife Declares She is a Lesbian

[essjay]

Well i thought there was a chink of light in my darkness at one point today.
This morning W said that she's "thinking of coming off the website"! I thought that might have been the start of something because i told her she seemed obsessed by it all and that she should really take a look at herself..but no!
Later she said that she wants "to go out tonight and meet more people socially" i.e. clubbing i see that as.
"The website is good for chatting but that's all" - even though that's how she met OW who she's involved with now!

She then texts me at work asking again what my thoughts were about her going out tonight. I didn't answer so she phones me.
Reluctantly I told her to go, i don't control her - nothing i can do to stop her..detach .. let her go etc.
I got sucked into a conversation for an hour - she's gay and not going to change, in spite of everybody telling her to try and work on marriage, how she's hurting everybody, daughters calling her ridiculous etc. her own family hurt.
I said let's go and talk to a counsellor. She said if its a marriage counsellor then not interested. Back and forth like that. She admitted at one point that she's "in a fog" and perhaps she needs to go and live on her own because everything she's doing or saying is hurting somebody.

Admit i'm finding it hard. Like most guys here i still love my wife and want her back.