barely holding on - 3

[u-turn]

Hey there dawgy - glad to hear that you are feeling better. It's such a ride - isn't it?

I am keeping my ring on through the end too - I've thought it through - with some help here. I look at symbolism in my life and that is one of the things that symbolizes what I am doing, what I care about, and what I am fighting for.

another one (stupid symbolism) - my garden just won't grow this year and I cannot control the weeds. That sums things up for how I feel about my life sometimes. I don't share these thoughts with any one (well - until now).
-------
I am not even close to getting out there and being mr. charming. I don't want that right now. I think that comes from my history. That would be such a big move for me - I have not done that in 26 years (except with Mrs. U-turn). I totally understand how that can help some people's psyche but I don't think it would be good for mine. I would feel like I am not being honest then. I am not saying some day, but it is not in my playbook right now. (I am also not saying that it is bad for other people to do that either)

Before all of this W & I used to joke about not needing or wanting another relationship if anything were to ever happen to either of us - times have changed I guess.