Here's another question: Is divorce incrementally more hurtful to kids than having your father go off the deep end and leave the family? If the worst that can happen is for him to leave then is divorce worse?
I'm not sure why I'm asking this. If we divorce we will have to sell the house and move and that will add hurt to the kids, not only in losing their home but also in the gravity and finality of the action. So yes, divorce is then incrementally worse for all five of us.
Maybell, I wonder this, too. My huge issue all along with H moving out is having to tell the kids. To me, that alone is the major hurdle, and whether we are S or D is secondary. In my mind, once they see that dad has walked out on the family, the paperwork is meaningless.
But I understand about the house, too. I have consulted two L, one says sell the house, one says I can keep it. But if H agrees to keep paying for everything, then there's no question we will stay. And the only way he's going to keep paying for everything is if there's no legal action, no D. So I'm in the same boat there.
My plan for the moment is to let him move out, get my ducks in a row, and watch our finances like a hawk. The moment he missteps, I'll file. Until then, my kids and I will stay put.
