What to do when an EA involved?

[bdub]

I hear what you are saying about the doormat issue. If you label it with the words "devoted husband" does that change your perspective any? Instead of "in the wings", how about " standing for your marriage" ? Little things like this have made my life a LOT easier.
I initially went into total doormat mode. As she started walking all over me I set up boundaries. I failed miserably the first few times but eventually I got there. The boundaries and thinking positive should help you!