Nitty in a Nutshell (Help! I'm in a nutshell!)

[Nitty]

Nitty, what do you mean by "H agrees to a form of MC?"

Nmwb123, I responded on your thread.

It might not hurt to let him know, during your mediation/MC stealth missions, that when it comes to reconciling, you are a 100% ready for that with new goals and new standards if he ever wants to be married to you again. But when mediating, you won't be a pushover - just because he thought you were, doesn't make it true.

Yes, oh, yes. I am very clear that I am willing to rebuild. But I am now very much looking forward to that part of mediation when Mr. Gritty realizes how much he's going to have to pay in support... heh.

the fact he doesn't want to show his face shows he is actually feeling some guilt and shame for his actions ... be careful not to punish him, remember .. be the lighthouse, the rock, allow him to come to you without scaring the squirrel off.

I will keep the road home paved and clear. When he says stuff like he can't show his face in the neighborhood again, I say everybody would love to see him. And they would. I am a good little Nitty.

Mommy isn't supposed to remind them of how they screwed up, she's supposed to always be there to dole out CAKE and unconditional love.

She will always forgive and never leave.

I think there are a lot of similarities there, don't you?

I know. It SUC KS, right? Totally SUC KS.

HopeTex, sorry I mistook the Heinlein reference as coming from you rather than Shakespr. LOL.

So. Worked hard all day, on my way home at 6:30 and I see some texts from Mr. Gritty. (We're back to texting again.) He wants to know what I'm doing. I responded that I was going home. He pops right back: "Come on over."

[[[[[ ! ]]]]]

I text back: "I'd love to but I can't, got to pack tonight for a conference this weekend."

So let's backup to 3.5 months ago, the day I tell Mr. Gritty I can't live in an open marriage and he says fine, he is going to date anyway, so he'll just file for D.

He told me this over the phone as I waited to see a bookkeeper who was supposed to help me organize my small business accounting. And because I cry at the drop of a hat, I was sobbing by the time my appointment rolled around.

The bookkeeper handed me a box of kleenex and told me I needed to take all the energy I used to put into my marriage and put it into my business instead. Make it my baby. She asked me if there were any industry conferences or workshops I could go to, and told me to find the next one and GO.

So I went home, looked up the very next conference about the software I use in my business, and in between blowing my nose, I signed up to go. I have never done anything so adventurous in my life. Adventurous and scary. A software conference! With grownups!

And that conference? Is this weekend! It's tomorrow! I'm packing my suitcase tonight and getting up early! I have never done anything like this before in my entire life.

And the man who told me he was gonna D me because I wouldn't put up with him dating other women? He actually wants to spend time with me, and I can't, because of the conference I signed up for the day he used the D word on me.

Is this a strange circle or what?