We married 4 months after we met for the first time. We were introduced by my cousin's friends.
Originally Posted By: sandi2
You had no idea that what she revealed about her past had happened?
Actually, she revealed something that it wasn't too serious, but I will not share it here. She did confessed to me earlier that day (beach day) that she has not opened her heart completely to me, because she feared that I was going to take her for granted. Im still not sure why was she so hesitant to open up to me. After all, I completely opened my heart to her. In addition, that same day during the beginning of the argument, she said that "we shouldn't have been together in the first place..."(refer to the story). These confessions were somewhat alarming to me, and I didn't know where they were coming from.
Originally Posted By: sandi2
You never saw any odd behavior before the day at the beach?
Yes. Actually, now that time has passed by, I see now more and more behavioral issues that happened between us and family in the past. One time we were at the movie theater's parking lot ready to drive home. It was in mid November 2012 (we were engaged). Since we met at the movie theater after work, she was driving her car and I was driving mine. When we were ready to leave I asked her to do a GPS on how to get home because we were not familiar with that particular side of town, and her phone was way better than mine. She agreed, but at that moment I received a call from my dad telling me that my nephew was born. I was excited! I told my W about the good news and then she got in her car and I got in my car while talking to my dad. I noticed that she was taking a while to make the GPS work. So after around 5 minutes I told my dad that I needed to check on my W because she may be having issues with her phone. I hung up and I approached to her window and she was sitting in the car with her eyes closed and doors locked. I knocked her window, but not response. I talked to her...nothing. I even called her and she hung up the phone as I stood there and looking at her. At that point I knew something was wrong. I tried to reason with her, but she said nothing. So I gave her some space but it was late at night. So I went to her and started to talk to her again. But no luck. At that point I got very upset and started to raise my voice and demand her to open her door. She finally cracked the window and told me that the reason why she was so pissed is because I didn't come to her to ask what was going on with the GPS, but I DID! She said I took too long. I asked her "Why didn't you tell me you were having issues with your phone? I was talking to my dad and I hung up just to see how you were doing." Then she started saying that I never cared about her, and everything got very heated up. It was very late at night. I drove away very mad, but I came back after I cooled off. We finally made peace and went home. But that was one of the first incidents we had.
Originally Posted By: sandi2
I hope she gets help with whatever happened in her past. Has she tried?
She got help for her childhood trauma years ago. She finished her last treatment back in 2013. However, the treatment was mostly directed to cope with the trauma, but it apparently failed to completely eliminate the side effects of such trauma. People that has been through these kind of traumas become very defensive in the middle of an argument, and fail to "let things go" easily as normal people do. I tried my best to understand her and care for her conditions, but I must admit that sometimes I don't know how to handle it. She also said that she doesn't need more help because she claims to be a way better person than she used to be before.
