The Waiting One (and tired of it)

[Atsbaby]

Confirmed date for tomorrow! Long time gf and Godmother of my kiddos. Clark surprisingly didn't throw a fit over watching the kids. Doesn't know what I'm doing and going to leave it that way!

So it takes me an extra 15 minutes to get home after the kids arrive from the bus. They call everyday so I know they made it safe. D9 had lots of hw tonight and shouldn't go to S10 practice. Clark and I decided one would stay home and the other would go to practice.

D9 calls and wants me to stay with her. I don't get to see much of s, so I decided I'd go with him. D9 tells me, "I want you to stay because I love you more than daddy." WOW! I know it could have been manipulation, but I don't think so!

Clark comes in and purposely says hi. He made no efforts to contact today...first time in a long time. He was also very grumpy. Any combination of things and I'm not going to try and figure it out

S and I leave. Good practice and I did some light reading while he wasn't hitting or throwing. We returned home to a grumpy house...uuugghhh!

Clark has ticked off D and she isn't feeling well and is mad that she didn't finish her hw in time to play outside. I cook dinner for the two babies, as always, and make myself a sandwich. Clark sits on the couch away from us and watches tv or focuses on what ever in his brain.

I medicate D. I snuggle with her. I get S in the shower. I tend to his cuts. I put the kids to bed. This running theme is starting to make me very angry. Get off your @$$ and help out. YOU are their dad. He does commit to calling the dr in the morning for D. We'll see if he follows through. I have a meeting all day, but will try to be available for D.

I got some me, me, me blah. Validated and stopped talking. Clark finally left. I think I'm being more cold towards him than I really should be. I can't help it, but that was part of my light reading today, to be more positive always.

Goal: be more assertive (more positive way to say not be a doormat!) and be more positive