My efforts at reestablishing contact were not working, so in mid-July I did a targeted exposure of the affair (close friends and her family). She called me furious (first time she'd called me in two months). I told her I wanted to help her, because the affair was going to hurt her physically, emotionally and spiritually. She said she understood why I did it but that it was not helpful. She then reiterated that she wanted a divorce. I told her she would have to do that herself. Three weeks later, she filed.
What did you expect her reaction to be?? Telling her all the ways her A is going to hurt her comes across as nothing but controlling. You would have been better served by stating your boundary (I will not live in an open marriage) as opposed to outing her, but what's done is done.
