Part of why H doesn't do a lot of parenting is that he travels very frequently, very far away, and generally not with a lot of notice. This week and part of next he's in Europe -- a trip for which we had 5 days notice. I'm a SAHM (at least for the moment). So ALL kid stuff fell on me and I have never had the option of asking him to cover a pick up or whatever. The most he ever did was be home when I had a book club meeting scheduled.
The term for our separation has long since expired and we both agreed (in about two sentences) that we were comfortable continuing things as they were. I guess the house thing worries me because the one thing I've always wanted and never had in our marriage was security and stability. We've always been moving in or moving out. I'm in my 8th house in 16 years and the one thing I REALLY want is to not have a move on the horizon. There is NO WAY I will keep this house by myself. I know what I hope to do if I need to make the move, but it's hard not to brace myself for it, since that's how I've lived for so long. Always bracing myself for the next Big Thing.
It makes my heart hurt to think of how all this damaged our marriage. (that and my SIL is texting me, first time I've heard from her in four months).
I will try to live for today. Today is a good day. In many, many ways.
Me42, H40 D12, S8, S7 A revealed: 7/13 Sep 4/14; Agreed to D 1/15
