Quick answer: Tell him what you need from him and then leave it on the table, so to speak. For example, if you need him to pick up your son from soccer because you've got to be elsewhere, ask him if he can do it. If he says no, don't offer a commentary on his poor choice. If he says yes, give him the info and let him follow through. And then thank him for it. Yes, he's the dad. And yes, Dad's are supposed to do those things. But sometimes they feel like they're given a free pass to step away because they left. Don't give him the out.
In my case, he didn't offer or do things differently for a few reasons. He was mad and reveled in watching me stress out. He also felt that since our R was bad, it was better for our girls for him to stay away.
Occasionally, our oldest would ask him if he'd take her somewhere or do something with her outside of his parenting time. And more often than not, he'd oblige.
Quote:
If we divorced or implemented a legal separation we'd have to split the house and I would not be able to stay in it.
That was our understanding as well. We didn't specify 3 months or 12 or 2 years. But I'll tell ya that after a year with no answers, HIS friends started putting pressure on him to come to some decisions.
So if you're okay the way things are and not financially in a bind, what's the hurry in resolution if things are okay for the time being? I'm a huge proponent of thanking my lucky stars for things being good TODAY. Tomorrow will *always* take care of itself. And you never know what tomorrow brings either. Sometimes it even works out better than you expect. BTW, I got the house. And lots of child support.
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
BTW, I got the house. And lots of child support. 
