Labug, when you say "revisit letting go" what does that mean to you? Does it mean just doing my thing and not filing or anything, just doing my thing? Like you did during that LONG period that your H dropped off the radar?
Does that include dating? Because I'd really rather not be a person who does that while married, even if it's just on paper.
I saw Underdog when I first started lurking but lost track of her. How far back in her posts should I look?
I don't feel like there is any co-parenting happening. H is MIA except when he calls the kids or when he has them for the weekend. He (has always) delegated all decision-making and discipline to me. When I asked him in the past about strategies for dealing with kid stuff he always either rubber-stamped my suggestions without thinking about them or said he didn't know how to deal with whatever it was and left it at that. So co-parenting is really not an issue to me.
It is so hard to figure out how to navigate this whole idea of letting go when my housing situation depends on him. So long as we keep everything joint and he keeps paying for mortgage and upkeep I can stay in the house. But at some point we're going to have to figure out where this is going so I can find a new home in the small area that I'm trying to stay in (for myself as well as the kids). That sort of keeps me stuck, although frankly if we end up selling the house and I get my own place it won't be any more pain than what I've gone through. I just want to know how to plan for those sorts of things. If we do sell the house, though, it will be a hurdle for him to jump if he ever wants to reconcile.
Good things are happening for me in other parts of my life, though I'm going to keep it to myself till I know more. Thank you all so much for being part of it.
Me42, H40 D12, S8, S7 A revealed: 7/13 Sep 4/14; Agreed to D 1/15
