WAW, she had an affair, separating to "think"

[jb13529]

Hi all, thanks for the support. I have read both DB and DR and am rereading them. I have 2 questions here that I am struggling with at the moment:

1. Boundaries vs ultimatum. She is moving out in a week, and has said that she does intend to pursue dating/sleeping with other men if the situation should arise. I don't /can't agree to those terms in our separation. It's no longer a marriage for me.
How can I frame my disapproval in a way that is not controlling? That is not saying "if you are sleeping around I want a divorce" but rather framing it in a way that protects me and that is not being a doormat?

2. Why SHOULD I try to DB this thing? I have no kids, no house, and she intends to pursue the affair and other men in order to "figure herself out." I'm having trouble right now convincing myself that she is worth waiting for her to come back to me, even if we both grow to be better people. Most of the advice so far has been because of children, or logistics. I just don't know if it is worth it...