H is out of the house

[unbidden]

So, reall, you're like the WAS now afraid the changes aren't permanent. What is best for your kids and for you right now?

[twinmom]

Yep, because of the "seriousness" of what H did..... I hope ow was AMAZING in bed to make leaving your pregnant wife with it.....

I don't feel safe and I want to make sure this will never happen again.

[unbidden]

But, you will never be able to make sure it doesn't happen again. What you went through was and is unspeakable, no question. But there are no guarantees in life, why can't you just let him help with the kids more and leave R stuff for later?

[Ss06]

How can anyone make sure this doesn't happen again? This is part of the reason this is so hard. Trust, honor, loyalty... all of that has come into question and they are the basis for a marriage we all want. We all knew the restoration process was the hardest part of all of this because that is where the true work takes place.

Take it slow. Breathe. Trust is built. He needs to build it and honor your concerns and worries which are VERY valid.

[twinmom]

So I am caving big time right now, doing what is best for the kids.....

I am having the Essure procedure tomorrow (yea no more getting pregnant!) The meds they gave me to take tonight are making me sick, I can't nurse until Sunday. I have lots of milk in the freezer but Lilly is just not taking the bottle from me. So I called H, told him what was going on and asked him to come stay the weekend with us to help me. He was here in 20 min (it's usually a 25/30 min drive to his parents)

I am spending my night in the bath room.

[Ss06]

I am so sorry you're so sick but I am SO glad you called for help. Take care of yourself. This is good for H, too.

Do what you need to feel better. If that means soup, ask. If that means water, tea, rest... ask and do it!!!

We're behind you.

[unbidden]

Glad you reached out for help, tm. Hope all goes well tomorrow. God bless.

[twinmom]

Well, that was a lot easier/less painful than I expected. I highly recommend the Essure procedure if you are looking for permanent birth control.

I was super emotional/loopy after the procedure, I asked H a few questions about marriage. I may have gotten his hopes up that I am thinking about working on the marriage......

He laid down with me yesterday after he put the kids to bed and just massaged my entire body for a long time. (I had commented my entire body felt crampy/weak/sore)
After he was done he held me and for the first time in a month I didn't push him away. He ended up holding me all night.

We have court on Wednesday..... I know he is going to ask if I am still going through with it. I am so confused and honestly don't know what to do.

[twinmom]

I started feeling nauseated and lower back hurting really bad. The nausea got really bad, I gained 7lbs in less than a week and was bruising very easy. I called the Dr early Wednesday morning and he told me to go straight to the ER as I was most likely having a reaction to the metal that is used in the procedure.

Problem is I was supposed to be in court at 9am for the preliminary hearing. I could hardly stand up so court was out of the question.
H had stated he wasn't going because he didn't want a divorce and if I went through with it then it was my choice and he didn't need to show up because he knew I wouldn't ask for anything crazy.

I called H and told him I was going to the ER, that my mom was here with the kids buti was wondering if there was any way he could leave work early and take over for my mom.
H called my mom asked her if she was ok with the kids (she really can't handle them it for very long) she said yes so H came to the hospital and stayed with me.
He spent the night last night so I could go to bed as soon as I walked in the door.

So now I have to find out what happened in court. :-(

[watto14]

Oh twinmom, I hope your ok, and that's fantastic that your husband turned up at the hospital and stayed the night, he does seem to be trying to do the right things, keep it up I say!
hope you feel better soon, and I'm sure all the court stuff will be ok.