As I look back on things, my H was in his MLC for about 5-6 years with the crisis coming to a head when he left in June to go live with OW. I left him alone, when we did talk, I was always kind, compassionate, and let him talk, and never pushed or asked questions. I read everything from Hearts Blessing, Snodderly, M-Go Blue, and Sting. I also read all the books they recommended to learn about depression and MLC BUT most of all I let go and let God. I became so close with my Lord and Savior, prayed continuously and He did the rest. My H started e-mailing me from Sept. til the day he came home and I just listened. You must learn forgiveness, you must learn about yourself and where changes need to be made and you must learn unconditional love. You must also realize and accept that this condition is really out of their control. My daughter had a terrific expression for this "an awake coma". My H does not remember everything he did, he just knows that he was not himself, and did not know any other way. Also, the OW was just an escape, he thought he cared but never really knew her and when he woke up he did not like her.
I know this is extremely difficult and you do hurt. But once I understood exactly what he was going thru, accepted what I needed to change in myself with the help of God, it made a big difference. May I recommend the site "Rejoice Marriage ministries" on the internet. They gave such support for standing for my marriage. When you said your vows to God they were sacred, and remember the vows of better or worse and in sickness and in health. This is those times.
May God Bless You and keep you strong. Muster every bit of strength you have...go to God, He will help you get thru this. Another person on the board who will help with your faith is Vinlad (Laurie)....she has got such Faith and still has not given up.
Happy Thanksgiving.....Hang in there and NEVER GIVE UP!!!!
