Just redact those OW-name references with that fat, black Sharpie and read it a few more times..
You've been paying attention to some of my sprinkled comments about whipping out the Sharpie pen, eh? That's a good student!
My Girl Posse...I wanted to circle back and comment to each one of you individually here. Job: I seriously doubt the friendship will ever be the same because both of you will be uncomfortable and stepping on eggshells when you communicate. Not the best type of friendship if you both can't be open and respect each other's boundaries.
Good gosh! No, it will NEVER be the same. It's forever altered. Being open and respecting each other's boundaries will be the key deciding factor for me. That is something that I really need to mull over some more.
GB:If Ms. Wonka is *expecting* you to keep apologizing and rehash the past, then that's on her. You were honest and wanted to make amends for some things that occurred during your MLC. However, it doesn't appear she is willing to do the same with her own actions.
I doubt that Ms. Wonka is expecting me to keep apologizing and/or rehashing the past. I get the sense that she just wants to forget it and leave the past squarely in the past. As for the last bolded statement....that is the one question that I'm struggling at the moment.
Which brings me to an excellent comment that Bug made here a week or so ago about "not hanging on the NEED to get an apology" or "ensuring that our stories line up." Dunno. Hmmmmm...gee, it'd sure be nice to get an apology from Ms. Wonka as well. Not sure if she's able to display this insight or perception of how her actions have hurt me.
Bets:This must be the day for agreement, because I echo what Job and Georgia said. It seems as though she wants to hold the cards to clearly define your friendship, and chastises you for seeing things differently. That's not the kind of friend I'd want going forward.
I think you've captured the essence of this whole matter quite eloquently and succinctly for everyone to see here. What I am contemplating here is giving her one other chance by re-stating my boundary and if she crosses it again with disrespect and insensitivity, then that will be it for me. As you might have read from our convos from back in March, we clearly stated that we may stumble at times and try our best in trying to figure out how/what our friendship is supposed to look like.
I mean...we essentially had no communication for nearly 10 years. Yeah, there'll be some rough bumps here and there. We'll see how it all unfolds, if at all.
BTW...the hottie girl and I are going well. Of course, this stuff from Ms. Wonka is making me a bit annoyed. Go away, willya and leave me in peace.
GGG:I think a lot of people are responding to the length of time you've been keeping that door open for her in one way or another.
Perhaps...or not. That is for others to decide and clarify.
You certainly can carry a torch, Woman! That's the stuff that romance novels are made of. It's something most of the population can't even fathom.
You and Linda (a former poster here)...will be the silly burr on my side over this "romance novel" starry-eyed notions!!! I can tell you without any doubt that Fabio isn't gracing on my book cover. Perish that thought!!
(Heck, if I can stand there and hear GUBU tell me about OW leaving, and how it is really insignificant, and I can hold it together and not stick an ice-pick in his eyeball, you can suck it up a bit about OW. IF YOU WANT TO.)
That's the beauty of having choices...no? I want to do this on MY own terms and not have stuff shoved in my face. I can be pretty headstrong when I feel, sense, see, or hear people trying to get me to do something that I am NOT COMFORTABLE with at all.
As for the rest of your questions, I find it interesting that I contemplated over them today before logging on here tonight. So instead of going over your questions one-by-one, I think I've pretty much covered them in my previous posts. Subject to further evolution.
And I never, not once, felt that you were being harsh at all.
A variety of perspectives and insights is what I had hoped for when I did the long and detailed "debrief". And I got A WHOLE LOT more back...which I sincerely appreciate from you guys.
