Thanks everyone, You had some really important things to say AJ, thank you. Good to see you pbetra! Who knows what is going on in their heads? I am starting to think MLC is a disease and the "script" is just the common symptoms! It affects the same area of the brain of the "victims" and causes them to say and do and think the same things! Ur, you are right. I just hate to see such an evil person get what HE wants, whatever that may be. I also know that as long as he is so much in my W's life, he will also be around my kids and he says the most awful things to them about them! They are still teenagers and having an adult who tears you down as horribly as I have seen that man do to them, my W and others (including his only son and name sake) it can't be good for their self esteem, especially when their own mother won't do a thing about it and usually ends up backing him!
It happened again this morning. My D14 called me late last night (almost Midnight) and asked if I could take her to school as her mother, once again, was "too busy" to take her! Of course I said I would as it's for HER, NOT W. Of course I also know that my W knows I won't say no and uses that fact to not have to put herself out! I hate that. I also saw her walking home from school yesterday carrying a huge backpack (they don't have lockers in her HS! Can you believe that?). She had left school 20 min.'s earlier, and she was still a good 10 min.'s from her mom's! I was on the highway and past the exit so by the time I could have gotten to her, she would be almost, if not at, her mom's so I didn't stop. Today I left work early enough so I could pick her up as it was 100+ degrees out today! I can tell she is grateful but at the same time isn't going to say anything "bad" about her mom. It really bugs me that my W is still using me like that. She seems to want to put everything ahead of our D14's well being and justify it by knowing that she can count on me taking up the slack like I'm still her husband AND still complain about me not paying for enough of her "needs" (which isn't true). I pay my share and I also give my D's my time and attention. Something she hardly ever seems to do.
Part of me feels like I'm "enabling" my W to get away with not doing what she should be for our D14. That by always being there when she is unwilling to put herself out, I'm making her life easier and mine harder. But at the same time, I don't want my D14 to suffer because her mother is too selfish to do what she should be either. It's a hard place for me to be but for now, especially with my d being so upset about the new school and feeling very lonely, I'm going to do whatever I can FOR HER!
