Well, now I know why H suddenly shut down- he was bothered by the fact that I had been drinking at the BBQ and then got emotional. He did at least say that he recognized this was more about his own issues surrounding alcohol ( childhood bad experiences with alcoholic grandparents) that are being triggered and he hasn't dealt with yet and he was trying to manage his negative reaction.
I didn't try to defend myself though I did remind him that the whole BBQ was emotional in regards to who was there and all the memories it triggered. He agreed with that. I asked him to just tell me if he's upset but he said he was trying to be sure he had the right words and approach.
As my counselor said today- this is his issue to work through. Just as mine are my own. I need to be sure and not "own" any projection onto me from his past hurts.
Refocusing on me- letting him be.
Me 41 H 40 M 20 T 23 S 19,16, 8 D 13 BD1 dec 2012 not sure going to work BD2 sep 2013 seeking a D Filed oct 2013, D Feb 2015 Life is about daring greatly, about being in the arena- Brene Brown
