Amoeba Whisperer: "Stay in your OWN Petrie Dish!"

[GoatGal]

This is weird.

I ASSumed that GUBU had halted delivery of the paper credit card statements to the house once he started using that card for his dating service charges, college kid bars, and Viagra.

But now that two statements have arrived, with full details of purchases, I must conclude that:
1. He did not stop delivery in order to prevent me from seeing these things.
2. He did try to stop delivery but they screwed it up and keep sending paper statements.

I left the latest statement out for him to see, since he pays the bills.
(The one with his questionable purchases, I tucked away since he'd already paid it. I didn't want to start a "thing" at the time. I was pretty keyed up about it, decided to let it go, at least as far as he's concerned.)

I am not trying to make anything out of this, other than the actions themselves.

If he didn't stop delivery, it means he knew I would see those things since I get and open all the mail.

No--not mind-reading... LAUGHING!!!!!

I mean, it says: "Internet Dating and Escort Services" right on the bill!
How embarrassing for him...
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But this is not the point of mentioning it here, not getting in his playpen--no worries, DBers!

The reason for bringing it up is not to figure out "why" or "what he was thinking" or "what does it mean"

It's because it opens up the door for a boundary discussion, one that I was unsure how to handle because I didn't want to let him know my intel.

Now that the statements are still coming to the house, he's got to know that I KNOW.
And that I have done a remarkable job of STFU. That's a 180 for me for sure.
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If he EVER wants to live under the same roof, the dating profiles have got to go.

It's disrespectful to me, to our M, regardless if he thinks he's somehow "single" now, just by wishing.

And if he actually started "dating", does he think I should just be OK with seeing him getting shaved and dressed up to take out OTHER women?

Especially when he hasn't so much as taken me to dinner in years?

Maybe not even coming home?

Is it realistic to think I'd be cool with that?

Would HE really be cool with ME doing that?
Having some dude pick me up here at the house, maybe staying gone overnight?

I think not.

Nope.
If that's what he wants to do, he can go get his little bachelor pad.
That's his choice.

Live here with no dating, or get his own place and pay for it.

That's my line in the sand.
I didn't know how to bring up the dating site, but I would be uncomfortable knowing he's still on there, trolling for "dates". Or whatever you call them.

I can't live here upstairs while he's doing that downstairs.
I think that's reasonable, no?
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And, now that he's told me he's back in therapy, he casually refers to "my shrink" this and "my shrink" that.
After all that secrecy and carrying on. My goodness.

He says he has another appointment tomorrow after work, so he won't be here for the animals.

I said that I'd be happy to cover for him when he has an appointment, just to let me know. I am supporting that 100% and I really proud of him for that.

So far, so good.

Goodnight, DBers...

---GGG