Living with WAW who will not leave

[Casey]

Today was a fairly eventful day for me; a lot has happened.

Last night I had taken the time to prepare a very nice meal which was ready when my W arrived home from work around midnight. She was pleasantly surprised and we drank a bottle of wine during dinner, after which we had a long talk. I asked her if she had signed the lease yet on her new apartment. She said that she did not know what to do with her life and that she had not yet signed it. We talked for several hours about all that had happened, and she asked me if I wanted her to stay. I told her that I did not want her to stay if she was not committed to ending the affairs, nor did I want her to stay because she felt she had to because of finances. I said that if she wanted to stay for any reason other than because she was committed to rebuilding our relationship then I did not want her and would prefer that she go away.

Last night was the first time that she appeared to have any emotion over any of the damage that she has caused. She asked me what I would do if she left and I told her to not worry about me because I had plenty of other options and I did not plan to remain single for long. At this she was upset, she told me that if I really loved her then I would wait for her as long as it took. I told her that I had my own life to live, just like she had hers, and if she really loved me then she would not be leaving me to continue her infidelities.

Today, her friend told me that she had gone with her to a meeting with the landlord where W had signed the lease and received the keys to the apartment. W had told her that she had talked to me last night and that I had cried and begged her to stay; that I had promised her that I would start buying her clothes and a new car and a house, etc. She said that she had felt sorry for me but needed to be on her own, blah, blah, blah...

At this point, W is such a duplicitous and messed up person that I do not want any kind of relationship with her. I started coming here with the idea of saving my marriage but I am now at the point where I realize I have plenty of options and a life to live, while my WAW is going the other way with hers, while remaining impervious to my efforts and to any rationality. I expect that I will be moving on; a very dear friend from the days before I met my W is in contact with me, and it could easily turn into a romantic relationship now that I know it is over with W; I just needed to see that there is no chance with my W before I did so.